Thursday, March 22, 2007

300

300: the IMAX Experience
Dir. Zach Snyder

Balls.

Jeff Larson, NEW YORK CITY
March 22, 2007 - IMAX/Loews Lincoln Square

Aw, hell. It's:
and (Ann Coulter at her worst),

and,

(I apologize to you all for the shallow nature of this post. 300 is the kind of pap -- sometimes called "art" -- that sucks the lifeblood of culture and leaves a burnt shell containing only scores of massacred brain cells. It's by far the worst movie I've ever seen. America needs to wake up now, and 300 is putting us all back to sleep.)

(Click on the comments below. As always, Jeff GP has a far more erudite and accurate portrayal of 300 than I could ever hope to write.)

1 comment:

Jeff GP said...

As the "IMAX Experience" screening was properly sold out by the time I arrived, unable to join my namesake in this suckage I sunk my head low and dutifully headed to the Regal Union Square for the 7:05 show. Every single time the word "SPARTAN!" was shrieked by the man-children I reminisced about the lovely, heroic David Mamet movie by that same name. I thought, wow, David Mamet truly made a stellar modern noir. It is extremely funny, tense and perfectly convoluted. Then I thought of Frank Miller, author of the 300 comic book and the Sin City comic books. The conclusion: Frank Miller is a meat sandwich. Sin City, for all its strengths in movie and comic form, is stupid. 300, for none of its strengths is even stupider. Yes, it is stupider than most everything. It's not even homoerotic (you lying movie critics!)!!! It's about self-love! It's about Zach Snyder drowning himself in gallons and gallons of his own putrid semen.

Now, imagine me signing off here in super slow motion, followed by normal slow motion, back to super slow motion and back to normal slow motion. Fuck off and die.